Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
