I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize