You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
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Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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