Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
