i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just made out with a guy for $7.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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