Where is the hickey?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
try to milk me bitch
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