So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize