Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
