"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
