I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
