We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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