After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize