We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Randomize
