Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
