Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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