Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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