He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
God I need to hump something, right now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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