You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
