He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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