he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he fucked my hip out of place.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
