i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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