Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
