so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
