I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
