You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
