Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
