I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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