do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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