Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
