so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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