Well apparently he's into motor boating.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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