i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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