I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
