I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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