But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
