Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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