shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
