Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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