just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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