Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
