I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
