You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
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And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
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My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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