spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
