Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
These tits shall not be calmed
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize