Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
