I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
