nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
