mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
