Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
