i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
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how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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