Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
