Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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