she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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