shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
