So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
