okay pat passed out under dana's car
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
