i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Terrible idea I love it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize