there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
