you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
