Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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