i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
