so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
