is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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