he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
