I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
