I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
