We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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