I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
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Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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