I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
