I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
